It has been a week since I graduated college. I can’t believe that I’m a college graduate! It still hasn’t hit me and I don’t know when it will. I decided to do a post on the past four years of my life. How this time in college has shaped me.
The week leading up to graduation, I was a ball of emotions. Depending on the hour, I can have a different emotion coursing through me. In the mornings I wake up, starting my day by getting some tasks done so I don’t really focus on what I’m feeling. I am trying to change that with journaling first thing after my cup of coffee. Once I hit that midday slump, I just want graduation to get here already. There’s not much to do so it gets boring. I know I could go out to the city but I don’t want to risk anything from keeping me from Commencement.
In the afternoons, when I’m laying in bed and getting some writing done, I’ll look out the window. It’s usually sunny and the trees are fully covered with leaves now with the Spring in full bloom (haha). With this view, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for these past four years. I can’t express it in words exactly what I feel towards Boston College and Boston. It’s hard to imagine that four years have come and gone. Sometimes it felt like the days were moving at a snail’s pace and others were in the blink of an eye. Just thinking about it I feel a weight on my chest as if I want to cry but nothing wants to come out.
Towards the end of the first semester of college, I considered dropping out.
These past four years have difficult. I’m sure most college graduates can attest to that. I got out of a relationship, I lost a grandparent, and I gained another beautiful niece (literally one of the cutest babies ever). I started off college on a terrible foot. Towards the end of the first semester I considered dropping out. I wasn’t doing well in my classes, I couldn’t seem to find my place on campus; I thought college wasn’t for me. The thought of doing another seven semesters with this defeated, sinking feeling didn’t sit well with me. But I pushed through the dreary thoughts.
Spring semester came and went, I took classes that actually interested me, for the most part, and finished the semester with content. That was the way it progressed; every semester got a little better. Of course there were things still going on in my personal life but at least I was finding some enjoyment through college. I found refuge in writing during the pandemic in my Senior year. I had forgotten how much I missed it, seeing the words fill the page, know that I did that.
Going into the next three years in detail would have you here for quite a bit. I just wanted to write something that somehow showcased my gratitude in some form. I don’t know if I was successful but, well, it doesn’t matter at this point.
There have been highs and most definitely lows but I survived. I got my degree (don’t ask me for my GPA, just be happy that I got a degree). I can’t wait to start this next chapter in my life, wherever it takes me. My hope is that the next chapter is in New York but if it’s not meant to be then so be it.
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Let’s hope the New York chapter is meant to be!